it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
