so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I am available for nakedness
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
