...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Sober January is a disaster.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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