I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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