ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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