chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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