That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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