I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
