i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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