I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Two words: blizzard sex
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
