Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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