He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize