I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize