I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
