He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
