Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
