I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Michael Bay diarrhea
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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