I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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