i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
