If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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