census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Two words: nipple clamps
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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