I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
