Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
