I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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