I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
