This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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