no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
