She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
