I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
