How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
