is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
