Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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