on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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