ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
