Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize