So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
