do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
