There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
