there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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