literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.