Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.