Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My vagina just clenched in fear
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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