my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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