Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
