i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize