She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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