i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Oh god it's open bar.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
