i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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