I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
