Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
