Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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