Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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