I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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