The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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