Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
