Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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