Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Randomize
