Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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