You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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