Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
