smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
