Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize