I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize